She was tall and blonde and
I hadn’t known her long -
She was sweet and sad
with impressive breasts
and legs that just kept on going
Back then I was young
and confident and didn’t
often drink too much
I thought I was cool because
I could quote Shakespeare
and I read poetry
without rhymes or capital letters
She was a vision walking
across the room in that dress
and her smile was almost
as impressive as her calves,
well defined from the strain of
standing all night in heels
For most of the night
I kept a respectable distance
occasionally walking up
and placing a hand on
the small of her back,
expecting and accepting
her surprise and a long look
from her big blue eyes
that sang
She had simple tastes and
a simple mind, and went on
and on about how smart I was
because I could quote Shakespeare
and read poetry
without rhymes or capital letters
But when she pulled my
paperback copy of is 5
from her purse, walked up to
the microphone and read
it badly, I decided it was over
Three days later I told her I
couldn’t see her anymore
because – because I don’t
know it wasn’t her it was me
I still want to walk up to that kid
and knock some sense into him











Clever and funny–thanks.